Let down

There is nothing quite like being let down. When someone you know, or love, or don't know, or are getting to know drop the ball it is difficult deciding what to do next, but it is also difficult just dealing with it. The first step after the ball drops is hard. Knowing what to do is hard. All of those aftershocks are hard. People let you down. Sometimes because they are sinister, sometimes because they are ignorant and sometimes on accident. But, it is bound to happen.
I was thinking about being let down today. Thinking about the soft thud of your jaw when it hits the floor, or of your breath when it catches in your throat. Thinking about recovering from the moment I couldn't help but wonder not why people do what they do (I gave up understanding others ages ago) but instead I wondered why it hurts so much. It makes sense when a loved one hurts you to be hurt. But when a stranger does? Should that hurt too? Because it hurts me. The act of assuming someone is being honest and being lied to is hard. Its hard to accept that its happened and odds are will happen again. Trusting people knowing they are bound to hurt you sucks.
The more I dwelled on the subject, getting past being frustrated and instead into the deep meat of dwelling on being hurt, I realized in two recent cases I could've changed the outcome. I couldn't have changed what people do in certain situations, but I could've made better decisions. And that is when I realized that I was hurt by being let down by these other people, but more so I was let down by myself. I knew what to do and did other things instead. SO whilst others were busy doing the wrong thing, so was I.

Truth hurts.
Trish

I am not reviewing this before I publish as I believe I might edit out the parts that are hard to say and nothing would be left.

xo